Dear You,
life is getting tougher each day.
yet, i know i still have to go on
and have to learn how to cope things.
UHHH-UHHHH ;]

yesterday; went to JOHOR with my parent; 2nd brother & my lil' sister.
it was hectic; terribly fun plus extremely ridiculous plus partly embarrassed.
i slept during the journey; i laughed a lot till my stomach ached;
i bought 3 bottles of body shop perfumes that simply cost me 110 ( ringgit, i mind you;D) but it was ibu's treat laaaaaaaaaah; hehh. thanx a lot ibu; i love you!
hey! not just because when she bought me this & that, but i really do love her, okay!
as i have been repeating the word a lot two times, it reminds me of something,
yesterday i ate a lot; yes A LOT; mee rebus to kenny roaster( if im not wrong)
to pizza hut to LC ( nasi ayam penyet) my stomach were extremely bloated and nearly burst!

second, i was damn embarrassed okaaaay. WHY?
while otw to ( i forgot where we were to on that time )
suddenly my car broke down, YEESSSS!
then what? We had to push it all the way to ESSO;
luckily it was just few steps ahead; ERGGGGGGGGGH!
it was my worse experience ever; i can yet still feel the embarrassment.
-________________________________________________-

third; while on our way home;
dad received two unexpected/sad/(whatsoever) calls/news.

; my uncle's son which is my cousin, passed away,
he was hit by a motorcycle while he was playing with his kick-scooter,
it really shocked me, cause during hari raya, i just met him at kampong,
and he was doing extremely great. Allah's fate, that will be our last meet ;(
sadly, he's just 5, there's still a long way for him to go, there's a lot of things
for him to encounter, there's still a lot of thing for him to learn; to know.
as for me, he is lucky because he had safely go with a promising place,
while us? we have to go on every day's life without knowing when is our turn.

;my nenek fall sick. she had extremely high-fever.
so we rushed home; & i quickly BATHED first then went to her house,
which is on the th floor while my mother went out to find ( i also dont know what)
while accompanying her, she suddenly started a conversation,
nenek : " bile da saket gini terigt plak nak dkat mati" (tears flowing)
me: " ape nek, tklah. agaknyer nek penat sgt, nenek kan da tue."
( trying to control my emotional before i join her, tearing into tears.)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
but her tears accelerate to the speed of 5687864153489 cm/s,
i officially applaud her, as her effort to make me cry, was successfully done ;[
i really cant bear to watch her crying, talking craps (about death), keep saying,
this & that starting with if, " kalau nenek. . . kalau nenek. . ."
hey! im your granddaughter, im not ready yet to lose you, nenek.
i need you badly! i love you! well, who dosent? ;'[
& now, im starting to miss her already; shes currently in the hospital.

btw, whoever read this, i just hope one thing from you,
do spare just a few seconds, to read al-fatehah,
due to the two reasons above.
hopefully, his roh will be happily ever after there.
& may my nenek get well soon & Allah will prolong her stay.
AMIN!

oh, saying about death, it really scares me, why?
i know, ive done truck lots of mistakes & wrong things that is forbidden by Allah,
will my apology be accepted? will i manage to turn over a new leave?
will i have the time to repent before i go, or ill be going with all my sins together with me?
will i turn out being the same with those teenagers that people looked down on,
while actually i should be the other way round, way better than them,
cause i have been taught and i should have already know what is good what is bad.
HAIYSSSS.

oh Allah, please forgive me.